Behind Bars: Life on the Inside

By Devan Swank

There’s a version of burnout that people talk about in soft, familiar terms—being tired, overworked, maybe a little disengaged. And then there’s the version that lives in high-intensity environments, where the stakes are human lives, safety, and survival. That’s the version I came to know firsthand.

This is my resilience roadmap—built not from theory, but from lived experience.

During my high school years and even into college, I lacked a clear vision for my future. I juggled over three jobs simultaneously, ranging from being a nanny to a retail associate, dog sitter, dog trainer, house cleaner, barista, and even working at a tanning salon. I explored every opportunity available. However, I wasn't committed to any of these roles and couldn't envision a future in any of them.

I explored different paths, even considering becoming an FBI agent. I was told that starting in law enforcement would give me the foundation I needed, so I began testing, interviewing, and even receiving offers. Still, something didn’t feel right—I wasn’t ready.

That’s when someone suggested corrections.

At the time, I said um no way, I wanna be a hero, help others, catch bad guys… and working with inmates seemed intimidating and dangerous. But… it felt like a practical step and I needed something soon. A way to gain experience and confidence. A way to understand the system from the inside and understanding my why.

I had no idea how much it would shape me.

Life on the Inside: Where Burnout Began

I worked as a correctional officer at the county jail for two years, often clocking 40 to 80 hours a week. The environment was intense—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now mind you, I loved this job… it was thrilling, something to be proud of, and I was making a difference. It just didn’t look the same as what a cop was doing. My job was to keep inmates safe not to judge them not to punish them but to keep them safe and keep the community safe while they await trial.

Every day brought something new:

• Emergency situations

• Life-threatening encounters

• Stories that stayed with you long after your shift ended

Goal everyday… get home safe and alive to your families.

But what impacted me just as much as the events themselves was the atmosphere. Sometimes we had each other‘s back and we felt bonded other times you felt alone.

Negativity was everywhere.

Not only from the incarcerated individuals but also from my colleagues, I observed how effortlessly negativity could become ingrained in one's identity. It made people more rigid and altered their perception of others and themselves over time.

That’s when I had a realization that changed everything:

If I stayed too long, I risked becoming someone I didn’t recognize.

The Turning Point: Finally Released

Burnout isn’t always loud. Sometimes it shows up quietly- through cynicism, emotional numbness, or losing your sense of purpose.

I started asking myself hard questions:

• Who am I becoming in this environment?

• Is this aligned with the life I want?

• What is this job costing me beyond my time?

And the answers were clear.

I didn’t want to lose my ability to see people with empathy.

I didn’t want negativity to become my default.

I didn’t want survival mode to be my normal.

And I didn’t want to have to stand up to injustice inside my own department anymore. That is lonely and often isolate you as a “snitch”.

I made a choice… I sent in my resignation and left law enforcement behind.

It wasn't due to a lack of strength to remain, but rather because I was self-aware enough to realize that staying would mean losing myself.

Thus began my corporate journey!

Until next time. 😎